


Help & Regrets

by DaughterOfRa



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Hanzo tries to drink away his problems, Jesse's also there, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Short Descriptions of Genji's Death, if I need to add more tags let me know, it doesn't help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfRa/pseuds/DaughterOfRa
Summary: Hanzo has a bad day and tries to drink away his problems. It doesn't help.





	Help & Regrets

Today had been a bad day for Hanzo. There was a lot of things rolling around in his mind, a cacophony of pain mixed with bone deep self hatred that he never had the opportunity to get past. Now, drinking alone on a watchpoint building near the sea, he isn't sure if he even wants to.   
  
Hanzo laid back on the wall, taking a deep swig of the cheap sake that he usually sought out for times like these. He'd hoped watching the sun disappear beneath the ocean and hearing the crashing of the waves would sooth his aching heart. Instead, it served only as a catalyst for the bad thoughts. Every crash of the waves against weathered sea rock bring a new worry, a new anxiety. There was no lull to his pain when the waters receded, only an ever growing well in his chest, dulled by the heavy liquor.   
  
But, even with the liquor he remembered. He remembered Genji's face that was usually full of laughter and good cheer look at him in horror as Hanzo began to cut him down. He remembered seeing Genji's body, laying cold and dead and broken at Hanzo's feet. Now, he remembered the pictures he had seen of Genji just hours ago in Blackwatch, the hatred in his eyes.   
  
The aftermath of what Hanzo had done.   
  
Hanzo tried to bring the bottle up to his lips again, but after a few half-hearted swats to the bottle, he let it rest. At this point the sun was getting low, to the point where he could see the stars looking down at him. _Judging_ him, like everyone in Overwatch, like his ancestors. Hanzo closed his eyes.   
  
The faint jingle of spurs alerted Hanzo to McCree's presence just a little ways away. A familiar feeling low in Hanzo's gut stirred with the alcohol, the prideful side of him demanding not to be seen like this, demanding to be hidden, but the buzz of alcohol and internal pain glued him to the metal. The _clink, clink, clink_ of spurs gradually got closer until McCree was right next to him.   
  
To Hanzo's surprise, McCree sat down wordlessly next to him and breathed a sigh.   
  
"Drinkin' again, Shimada?" McCree said gently, voice almost lost to the crashing of waves. Hanzo sat up a bit, opening his eyes to glare over at the cowboy. "If you have come here to lecture me about my health, I assure you, Dr. Zeigler has already done that enough." Hanzo sneered, snatching up the bottle and bringing it to his lips.   
  
McCree only chuckled, eyes still facing the sea.  "Not here to lecture you about your drinking," He chuckled softly, the sound grating on Hanzo's nerves the moreso. "Just wanted to see how you were doing." McCree absentmindedly scratched at his beard, eyes facing the sea.   
  
Both men were quiet for a time, the seconds ticking away almost as pressuring as much as the silence.   
  
"You have seen me, I am doing fine." Hanzo grunted, unable to take the silence. "Why are you still here?"   
  
McCree looked at Hanzo with an expression he could quite read right now, with the alcohol and pain flowing through his system. "This is 'fine' to you?" He said, still in that gentle tone of voice. "Sneakin' off to drink everytime-"    
  
"I do not need you to manage me, McCree." Hanzo shot back, cutting McCree off. McCree put his hands up placatingly, making Hanzo huff, "Why do you even care?"   
  
McCree stayed silent for a time, long enough that Hanzo thought he would get up and leave, but he stayed sitting, the silence broken only by the crash or waves on rocks.    
  
"Because I do, Hanzo." McCree finally spoke up again, and the gentle words in the ever so soft tone of voice startled Hanzo into knocking over the sake, spilling out most of the contents before McCree reached out to pick it up.    
  
Hanzo blinked, wide-eyed and he opened his mouth as if to speak, but McCree continued, "I've been in your place before, trying to drink away the past that keeps catching up to me," He sets the bottle down, father away from Hanzo this time. "And... I guess that I just wanna help, rather than leavin' you to suffer."   
  
Hanzo stares at McCree, waiting for him to laugh as if this were some sick joke and he would go right back to hating him just like the other members in Overwatch, but it never came. Instead, McCree just stared back, before looking back at the sea. The stars and Moon were out in full force now, lighting McCree's Sepia skin in an almost ethereal glow. Hanzo huffs a half-hearted laugh, covering his eyes with his tattooed forearm. This has to be some sort of joke or dare or... _something_.   
  
"This has to be some sort of joke." Hanzo spat, his words a bit slured. "Genji put you up to this, didn't he?" Hanzo huffed another dry, bitter laugh. "You do not-"   
  
"M'fraid not, partner."   
  
Hanzo balked, sliding his arm down to plop unceremoniously down into his lap. "... What?"   
  
"I said," McCree shifted, pulling out a cigar and a lighter. "I'm doing this of my own accord." With the cigar lit, McCree sat back again. "I wanna help."   
  
Hanzo blinked, and he had the feeling he would've felt the same as he did now sober. Hanzo shook his head. "You want to _help_ a murderer? A kinslayer?"   
  
"Guess, so."   
  
"Your efforts will be wasted on me."   
  
McCree huffs a laugh, shifting so he was leaning back on his hands, cigar being held between his lips. He was quiet for another minute before saying, "You might be right. Might be a waste on you. But I didn't get as far as I am now without tryin'."    
  
Hanzo sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. McCree had no real reason to do this, to help him, to... Do anything but hate him, really. There were so many more reason for him to hate Hanzo. The things he's done, to innocent people, to Genji. He's even traded a few choice words to McCree upon coming here, so why...?   
  
Even through his confusion, Hanzo felt the well in his chest close just that little bit.   
  
Hanzo glanced to the side at McCree, whose eyes were on the waves. He studied him as much as his drunk brain would allow, but McCree's face was one of open honesty. Hanzo deflated, sighing as his eyes slid shut again.   
  
There was another long silence, but this one was more comfortable, the gentle crash of waves a bit more calming as Hanzo mulled over McCree's words. He didn't fully believe the words that came out of the cowboy's mouth, but then again, why would he be here otherwise? What would be the benefit to trying to trick Hanzo?   
  
"... You are serious?" Hanzo said eventually, voice small as he slumped against the wall behind him. "About... Wanting to help?" McCree shifted again to tap the ash off the end of his cigar before turning his head towards Hanzo, a small smile on how face. "As a heart attack."   
  
Hanzo rolled his eyes at the use of the saying, his pain dulled just a little bit more. "You will regret it." Hanzo murmured, and at first he wasn't sure if McCree even heard him. But McCree chuckled again, and smiled back at the sea with a half-shrug. "I've wrangled tougher people. I'm sure you won't be so bad."   
  
"You are severely underestimating my stubbornness."   
  
"Is that a challenge?"   
  
Hanzo raised his chin at McCree, looking him dead in the eye as he said, "It is now."   
  
McCree outright laughed at that, sound echoing of the rocks and buildings alike. "I ain't never had anyone take my help as a challenge." Hanzo smiled slightly at that, eyes still closed. "You should get used to it," Hanzo starts, grabbing blindly at the bottle again. "People have told me I can be belligerent."   
  
The two men talked well into the night, dodging the harder subjects in favor of small talk. Hanzo was thankful that McCree didn't bring up why he was drinking alone, probably because he's been there before.   
  
It was have past 3 before McCree decided that he would head off to bed before it got too late. Hanzo watched him go, the sound of spurs  getting softer with each footstep until it couldn't be heard anymore. Hanzo was secretly disappointed to end their conversation, and stayed sitting for a bit, listening to the waves before deciding to head off to bed himself.   
  
Hanzo got up, grimacing at the feeling of sticky sweatpants from the spill earlier. A shower was definitely in order when he got back.   
  
He scooped up the sake and jumped down, swaying just a little on his feet as he walked back to his room. Hanzo mulled over what they'd talked about tonight, still not seeing what McCree's intentions were, but it still got Hanzo's head out of the mud for the time being.   
  
Help. Just the thought of it made his prideful skin crawl and his paranoid brain skeptical. But he didn't have to listen to them for the time being, dulled by alcohol and the happiness of a non stressful conversation. Getting into bed, he let those two things and the sound of McCree's laugh lull him to sleep. Negative thoughts could wait until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
